i cant remember past the part when we filled his tub with skittles.
for me the strap perfect is like a chastity belt
After waking up today, I would like to find the Jesus preachers on campus to ask for help in asking for forgiveness to God.
Just realized I lost my social security card...maybe someone else will do something with my life
It sounded like he said "don't stop" but all I could hear were his balls.
After the Jell-o shots and about 6 shots of lighter fluid brand tequila, it got to the point where breathing was painful. All I could do was pray I didn't fall asleep in the front yard.
Someone touched my vagina when we were out last night. The fact that it was you is inconsequential and I am still counting it as a pull.
Wednesday is my day of reflection and making my dick and balls into shapes. So i'll be pretty busy.
I should be a dude... Walking a goat on a rope is a total chick magnet.
I wish everyone could suck his dick. It was an honor.
you don't even have a vagina so you don't get to tell me what to put in mine
I wish my nipples were as well behaved as yours.
literally took my pants off in the middle of bourbon last night without taking off my heels im a super human i guess
i refuse to take responsibility for eating Chuck E Cheese pizza and having any other repercussions than the shits.
I can't go to Fassler and not immediately think about you licking a guys wife's butthole in the family restroom
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