I just used Master P to describe what sound the letter U makes to my daughter...
I just had someone call me out on a walk of shame via megaphone
I can't wait until weight watchers comes out with a beer
The future queen of Norway was pregnant with a druglord's baby when she met the prince. We still have hope.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If this herpes test comes back negative I'm asking out the doctor.
Jenny was looking for something soft to drink since it's only noon, she chose spiced rum. Think she might die today
Just smoked out of an apple with Steve Jobs. I love Halloween.
Did you just say he wants to put a baby inside me?
I can't believe he let me cut his hair as stoned as I was.. I think I even cut my own hair too
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
First thing on my "to do" list- get sober for community service.
You know it's really hard to draft fantasy football players in a crowded bar when I have a raging hard on
Why is it that the asexual in our group is the one that gets laid the most often??
I'm more than my video games and dildo collection
If you fuck her..... You will be in great danger. Like in so much danger it would be like walking into a pit of crocodiles who haven't eaten and you also just stole their baby.
I sent her a dick pic and used brett Favre's dick pick. She asked me why I had pictures of old men's dicks saved on my phone... I just can't win bro
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