Did u get laid? I went and bought lube and fleshlighted it while moaning ur name the whole time.
once he started yelling at me in latin, i wasn't sure what we were fighting about anymore...
She said you were bangin on the counters of McDonalds singing "These Eyes" at 4am
there's a guy on campus handing out business cards. you pay him to see if your girlfriend will cheat. the company name is "tying up loose ends"
in fingerprint form on my ass. Seriously not cool. \ni bruiiiseeee like a delicate fruiiiitttt. Heeeaaarrr the rythymmm
We decided to leave the bar after we shattered a glassand then drive to steal a baby pool for our water festivities tomorrow
My head. My head is the problem. Also alcoholism.
Like I had no idea he knew how to play girls the way he played me. His major is chemistry for christ's sake.
He left npr on the whole time when we were doing it. ironic that i lost it on the 100th anniversary of the titanic. thanks michelle norris.
Got done with class, now I'm buying MD 2020 with the ex. Sure feels like college.
If you buy me a steak I will make the extra effort to ride you. If not, I'm just gonna lay there.
There were 7 of us cowering in the kitchen because you were swinging a giant, pink double headed dildo around like a nunchuk and hitting anyone who came near you with it.
If someone tells me they're a paramedic, how inappropriate is it for me to ask what their save to kill ratio is?
Dont ask questions just say words. where can i find plan b?
Good morning beautiful! Wanna steal a cat this weekend?
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