super hot butfun
Oops. What a difference a comma and a space make.
How do I say "sorry I gave you and your sister herpes" in German?
So some girl kept staring at me and giving me these weird looks. That's when I realized she could probably hear the Mulan soundtrack playing on my iPod...
You going to midnight mass? we need a dd
Wise words from the guy who drunkenly chipped his teeth on the sidewalk
Crosswalk actually
Just found a peacock feather in my car. Should I be the least bit concerned about this?
the condom is still stuck, that's what I get for being responsible
His balls looked like two miss shaped chicken nuggets
I need a light and a towel. ive got cum in places ive never had cum before.
Can we make love to the Space Jam soundtrack?
All I want is some guy to eat me out while I work on grad school things then go on his way
Let's drink lean at the 5 seconds of summer concert. Give the teens a glimpse into their future as dysfunctional adults holding desperately onto their youth. You in?
Current status: so high that I'm unable to have coherent conversation with my mom, but still knew that when my dad said "shpritzy white stuff" I understood that he was trying to think of "whipped cream."
That text took me 10 minutes.
I just found three upside down bottles of grapejuice in a triangle around the air freshener above my toilet... I guess it was one of those nights
Was cussing out our DD when one of the strippers takes him backstage. WTF
They call him magic hands is all I know.
Somethings are best left a mystery
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