i just caught my roommate coming out of the bathroom half naked with a surge protector. he told me he didn't wanna talk about it.
He called me an ungrateful bitch because I lauged when he asked me "how do you me and a bed sound?"
Like I should be grateful for the 5 minutes I sit on top of him and stare at the wall.
i just taught a 3 year ld how to do a jager bomb, i cant wait to have kids
they got in a fight during sex...she came out yelling and covered in chocolate
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i kinda regret how quickly i gave it up to him, but i just wanted the regular fucking to begin soon. ah we made good memories.
She wants an explanation of my cousins creepy foot fetish with my god sister. i don't know how I can sum this up in a text.
There is a limo involved. Man up, and make yourself puke. Its only one more night of blacking out.
The fire breather is here so I may get my second wind.
fuck your need to drink for whitney a thousand times last night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I had to run home with my hands covering my tits this morning. How does this keep happening?
I walked into Anna's room this morning and she was like teary eyed, with pizza sauce all over the place
Are cops allowed to hit on you if they're in uniform?! Serious question.
We are all done wearing pants today
When did we go from stumbling drunk into an ER at 3am to dinner double dating?
How do you ask the man who gives you multiple orgasms if he has friends who could do the same for your friend?
Randomize