Emee failed...She used my genitals as a tampon
did he really ask u insert a warm banna in ur anal?
it wasn't THAT bad but he definitely called his dick an asshole and said sorry to my vagina
As I was driving her home she congratulated each and every deer we saw for making it through the first day of dear season.
she has a fucking refrigerator full of four loko and is charging 15 dollars a can.... she is like a mini donald trump
My roommate made me a peanut butter and sprinkles sandwich. Maybe tonight isn't that bad
I misunderstood what a furry was. Come pick me up.
We realized tonight that we have to get advice about guys from you because you're our only straight male friend that neither of us has slept with.
Wait, you seriously DON'T keep vodka in your backpack??!??!?
Dude, it's not gay. It's winter.
somehow I feel like "adventures with cocaine and molly" wouldn't be an appropriate "How I Spent My Spring Break" essay topic.
Did you just email Kelly and I gay dinosaur erotica?
I walked so much yesterday and I was like holy fuck I need to do some cardio apart from sex cause this is ridic
i solemnly vow to never stick my penis into crazy again
I give it a week.
I'm like a great zombie Jesus.
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