hey i know this is weird but does alcohol affect pregnancy tests?
My cardio has turned into running out of the cold from bar to bar.
Can you explain my first weekend back, because there a lot of blacked out gaps and 32 friend requests i would like to know about
I had to drink heavily last night because I needed to forget that you told me you want to blow my dad.
New rule : you aren't allowed anything . Ever .
Just don't eat pie out of the sink. It's a real blow to the self esteem.
I'm still drunk. I put on workout clothes this morning and just puked in my bathroom. That's the same as going to the gym, right?
What are your thoughts toward getting nasty in a minivan?
Listen, dont tell me about your day or that your mom is in town. Don't ask me to drive you to the airport or proofread your paper. Text me when and only when you have a boner. Oh and take your pants off and leave your front door unlocked because I'm coming over.
Thanks for fingering me to orgasm during Wu-Tang Clan
If this gives you any indication of my current state, I stopped at Meijer after work and bought funyuns, pregnancy tests and chocolate.
I'm drunk and in a paddle boat and my friend won't quit yelling about pandas. Does this ever happen to you?
You know it was a good dinner party when one of the guests broke their finger and no one can remember how it happened.
We're getting a bucket of chicken and screwing around, so no, you can't join us.
I was a psycho gf all the time...I'm sorry
I was drunk 90% of the time...tit for tat
Randomize
