is it bad that the cashier at chick-fil-a shouted "see you tomorrow!" as i drove away?
i woke up with someone drivers licenses in my wallet this am...he said i don't have a business card so just take my drivers license
We woke up next to each other with a mutual look of disgust, and then he left. I knew I should have gone for the younger brother.
This milkshake tastes better than sex. Priorities, I have them.
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Man, I must say, having known you since preschool, Eiffel-Tower-ing her would've fully completed our journey to brotherhood.
First day of class and I'm in a bar drinking pitcher #3. Foreshadowing?
I hate find pieces of condom wrappers on carpet. It's like god is throwing flakes of shame for me to vacuum up
I was looking threw the photos on my phone. There is 8 different ones of us peeing on things.
Once again I am on the toilet and refuse to get up
What a great time to reflect on life
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Can I please come dance in my bra to destiny's child with you? I'll bring the wine and the glitter
My aunt left me alone with the instructions to "get waisted" by the time she returns. I love drunk aunt.
Well if your hearts not big enough, your penis certainly is. Just have a threesome
Yeah bc that's when u should take a Molly. At a house party with everyone from ur hometown
bitch, i have a flask. i've got things under control.
god. marry me.
She was cute in her own little way. Shit, free taco's makes anyone hot.
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