I'm skeptical of all drag queens.
a hangover this bad deserves a feeding tube
It was good sex. She was screaming so much I didn't know whether or not my name was Matt or God.
Just saw the hottest 4 garbage men ever. They should make a calendar
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
it got awkward when she realized that our nickname for her was "The Hambeast"
I'm drunk at the doctor. It's not that fun. Overrated in fact.
This flask doesn't match my outfit. I hope the gays don't mind.
Yes, yes I will fake crap in his house for you.
Note to self; if you can light it on fire, you probs shouldn't drink it
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I want to fuck the side burns off of Steve.
You know you're too drunk when you start calling people out for unfollowing you on social networks.
I'm sorry I've been mean recently but tbh it really turns me on seeing you cry so it might happen a lot..... You're a pretty crier I don't get it
just had a woman ask me to donate my eggs so that her baby could look like me. don't know whether to get a restraining order or be flattered. thoughts?
I stopped telling people I'm a pansexual unless they ask first, really tired of explaining what that means.
My apartment stinks of burning failure
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