It was like a Michael Bay sized explosion located in my pussy.
The weather is perfect in Seattle right now. Warm enough for girls to not wear bras, but cold enough for me to see them nipping out in the shade.
We walked in and the first thing we heard was, "OH SHIT! White chicks!" Naturally, I made some new male friends.
My RA just gave me tips on how to have discreet shower sex. Were we that loud?
just saw a midget ride a motorized cooler into the liquor store. i'm gonna follow him home.
Even the paramedic said "what a way to kill a party"
How did our waiter from olive garden end up passed out drunk in my roommate's bed?
It doesn't matter how many beers you've had, it's unacceptable to piss in someone's helmet after a playoff win.
My walk of shame this morning would have been much less obvious if it hadn't been 6:30 in the morning and I wasn't walking through downtown Nashville in a Steeler jersey.
My main goal for tomorrow night is to make it back into my own bed
Next Halloween, remind me to find a different wingman. Walking out in your pirate costume talking like Captain Ahab while i was banging her and telling me I had to harpoon the white whale really pissed her off.
Pornhub is actually a very wholesome website
I always knew ther was a reason why we're best friends
Obvs our love of drugs
I like to think of it more as our love of curiosity
it was like where's waldo, only the stakes were much higher.
I like how I can go from sucking dick in the my basement to singing along to veggie tales with my family in a span of 10 minutes.
Randomize
