she looks like luggage that fell from a plane
just got 3 freshman girls to makeout with each other at a toga party! score!
why is this not a picture message?!?!
I don't think so, think I've only met him once, the night I lost my teeth
her best friend is in town and she told me that they used to fool around when they were drunk and I'd have to "help keep that from happening"
you motherfucker
Remind me again why a vodka watermelon can't be a thanksgiving dish
New justification for blow: drug week; 'how it's made'
and it seems i've caught your masturbating bug. thanks.
He's in the hospital yelling at his brother to at least have stuck something "normal" up his ass.
Again?
I'm sitting outside your room listening for sex noises eating pepperoni...slowly
Something about being drunk at 1pm chasing seagulls on the beach while it's raining is very calming
was it wrong to tell him he's welcome in my pants any time?
Did I mention I hooked up with another country star? I think I need some sort of trophy for each time, yah know? Or like a sash and I win a badge or patch for each person. Like a slutty Girl Scout.
Drunkenly tried to auction off Merik's pancakes at Ihop. Apparently I make a great auctioneer. Also, no one wants 30 cent pancakes.
I. Love. Skype. Sex.
I think it's just been too long since actual dick has been inside you that you only THINK you love skype sex
i just want a beer and a blow job. is that so much to ask?
and i just want a ring so i can stop faking it. is that?
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