Ok let's jusst not talk today bc then we'll just do dangerous things but I'll say hello
Did I miss anything?
A gay irish pirate, a caveman and hunter s tompson.
so we also did drugs
He's telling me stories about how he made out with a 14 yr old when he was 22. I'm going home.
This frat boy drinking a forty and wearing a pussy patrol shirt just ran out in front of my car. I should have used less brakes.
how are you gonna miss the world cup? other than the olympics it's our last way to assert our dominance over China after this economic bull shit
His facebook status was woke up with a whale ..... Captain AHAB IS BACK !!!!!
You hooked up with another girl while you were with me. You were literally holding my hand while you did it.
I was really sad when you left and cried. And i don't know what a face promise is, but apparently i made you make one.
i don't know what happened by from the looks of her lipstick I'd say she was skull fucked by a rhino
We had a deepthroating contest with breadsticks at Olive Garden
He woke me up at 5am to recite nursery rhymes to our fictitious unborn child.
Sorry about the picture of wills balls via snapchat last night btw
At least I had a $10 coupon for Plan B today. Smart shopping for bad decisions
He woke me up because I was snoring and went for a second round. First time I'm happy that I snore
My sack is cleanly shaven and the rest of my body has been manscaped. i even put aftershave on my junk. i feel sleek like a fighter jet right now.
Randomize
