Christians are straight up FREAKS
Ed hardy makes air fresheners now. Now even the air can be a douchebag.
My T9 text prediction thing keeps predicting every next word is going to be "midgets".
whenever music plays i find myself always doing kegels to the beat. its like the new foot-tapping
Just 30 Funny Tumblr Posts About Starbucks
we sixty- nined on a tennis court.. not even drunk. you say insane. i say creative genius.
I caught him trying to shit in her bed. I asked him why he was doing it and he said "because it's wrong."
Fantastic. I'm pretty cold, tired, dirty, and hungry, but that comes with an adventurous weekend. Who needs a wallet or keys anyway? I could totally be homeless.
I literally told her "she's a sandwich I'd like to make" and that's all it took
I'm at the bar, forgot my pants. Everyone's over reacting
18 People Are Kind Of A**holes But Also Completely Hilarious
I just had some kinky fun in the back seat of my car behind a Ralph's in south county. How's your thanksgiving eve?
You sent me a picture of curly fries with no explanation attached. This is the first time you've texted me in 2 months.
Apparently I took a selfie with fried chicken at 2 am....I'm still trying to figure out where I got the chicken. I thought I was making mac & cheese.
She started calling me daddy on the second date and I don't know how to react to that
The last thing I remember is being given a cup full of absinthe and deciding I needed to wear my tool belt
You were returned to the hotel by someone wearing a priest costume and carrying knives.
Dude, I wish I could live my entire life blacked out.