OKAY SO WHENEVER I SEE AN UGLY COUPLE I ALWAYS WONDER WHAT THEY SAY TO EACH OTHER IN BED. creepy?
....ANDDD I just became confused during sexting and sent my mother a text describing a "porno-worthy cum shot."
Getting high on the stoop of a brownstone in the middle oh harlem. Doesn't get much more hey arnold than this.
Okay. Did anyone see me spend $1600 at the strip club last night? Or is this someone else's receipt in my pocket?
25 Of The Most Cringeworthy Internet Stalking Fails
I woke up with cheeseburger in my mouth and a deep sense of accomplishment.
He taped the number 420 over all of his clocks
somehow he and i always have our deepest conversations after phone sex.
Literally lying on a futon being hand fed bacon
An don't say it's "personal preference" cause I don't buy it. I just want to have normal cool guy balls. I don't want to be the dude that's still rocking the equivalent of the "mid 90's bowl cut" of scrotum haircuts.
21 People Who Barely Escaped Death
A giant panda just asked me for a cigarette and said "man pandas gotta smoke too." There is something wrong with this place.
I'm at a bar. It's body paint Wednesday. All of the waitresses are topless. Help me
This chick had a microhand. Fucking, like, jerking off a baby carrot would make it look like corn.
Once you jizz in someones hat, you cant take it back.
We climaxed at the same time during ain't no mountain high enough. Does it get more cheesy or domestic for a non relationship?
danced like there was no tomorrow. surprise. there's a tomorrow