Sex don't cost a thang now that you can buy trojans with meal points.
wakey wakey hands off snakey
were not allowed back there because i puked on the waitresses foot while trying to order another round. for myself.
just shaved my legs at the gas station bathroom before going to the club. is that too ghetto?
People Are Arguing Over This Guy’s Petty Reaction To Splitting Lunch With His Co-Worker
just got the results back. i love his dick even more now i know its clean
cashier rang me up and said, "white people are funny." like i'm NOT the only white person to buy just lettuce & 40 glow sticks
I don't mean to ruin your favorite Disney movie...but...we both came when Mufasa died.
Apparently im getting a reputation for how i mix drinks. Im the midas of booze. Everything i touch turns to koolaid.
They were loudly fucking last night and there was way too much conversation involved. It wasn't even dirty talk, it was more like "your doing it wrong" talk
Girl Logs Into Twitter Only To Find Out Her Dad Is Trending For The Most Outrageous Reason
We don't have paper towels so I microwaved a spinach/egg sandwich thingy wrapped in toilet paper. Toilet paper. so that's how my day started.
I just googled: how soon can I pee on a stick. What is my life coming to.
Ok. I'm gonna smoke some weed and look at some elephants without you then.
Bought a gym bag tonight. Used it to bring my Taco Bell in the house.
There aren't enough words in the English language to fully describe how worried I am for your dick. And the rest of you, I suppose.
But did u die
I found an onion in my purse