Im watching he's just not that into you, eating way too much pizza, and feeling very single.
Just saw an Asian guy riding his razor scooter to class. Dreams do come true
Karaoke makes my soul die one wretched song at a time
3 different guys in my psych class know me as 3 different names and said hi to me with all 3 different names-Andrea, Grace, and Bella
I've never been more proud of you
Stay Away From These 29 Online Dating Red Flags
i just saw an ambulance and a fire truck pull away from the dorms. it appears somebody actually IS feeling shittier than me today.
In the middle of pouring my wine you asked me if I could hear your vibrator from my room.
noooo, I woke up on his pack porch and the SUN WAS RISING. I saw red lights everywhere and heard sirens so I just ran for my life.
Sometimes you gotta take the crosseyed stripper. fuck it
Its important to me that you know there is a tambourine down my pants.
21 Rideshare Drivers Had to Drive These NSFW Passengers
I would let Bear Grills repel down a waterfall using my dick if I could go to sleep right now.
I FOUND THE NORMAL CONDOMS. THIS IS GOD TELLING ME TO CHASE AFTER MY DREAM.
No sex in the champagne room. The champagne room being my life
Drinking Patron always ends with me puking or receiving anal. So make your move when I start ordering it.
I'm pretty sure our sex is better than most foods and that says a lot too bc I really like food
The stall at this bar had mirrors all around. I just looked at myself take a shit from like 3 different angles