i puked in the mini-firdge
we don't have a mini-fridge?
bought one. it ws too cheap to pass up. xcept now there's puke in it,,, but the freezer's fine so i feel pretty good about that
i was drunk at family dinner telling about my gay brothers sex ads on criags list
i just put a booger in my mom's hair and i just needed to tell someone.
We need to either drink and not go to waffle house or go to waffle house and not drink. I need to know which is causing these shits.
Theres just something about looking at pictures of your dick in church that doesn't feel right
She is going down in cock block history. He went in to kiss me and she threw her hand between our faces and yelled "DENIED!"
No sexy Asian girl. No comfy bed. I'm just gonna lie here in the hall next to the garbage can until someone comes home.
I want to apologize but I don't know how. Do I just say "sorry for OD'ing on your couch"? I think that just sounds weird.
After the Patriots lost I punched him in the face. But I still feel like that isn't a good reason to dump me.
Hey remember that night when you sang Fergie to me? I think that's the exact moment in time when the thought "I could be faithful to this man" came into serious consideration.
Well going home with a Ralph Lauren model helped me get over him real fuckin' quick. Would recommend it for all women going through breakups
And then he said he would build me a mountain dew water fountain
Marry him now.
Stuck in the Minneapolis airport for 3 hours with an expense budget and a wine bar. This could get out of hand quickly.
He was pretty bad, I wanted pizza the whole time.
She's walking to the bar while holding a fifth of fireball, talking on the phone and puking like its nothing out of the ordinary