with your own penis?
Only now do I see "not intended for use on skin" warning. Wonderful. But hey, my dick smells like magic marker.
Ok so my english teacher told me i could have 5 absences bc of my "problem". I have no idea what she is talking about
jungle juice + heels + stairs = broken arm
Please sleep at your girlfriend's tonight
Why?
'Cause I wanna jack off tonight.. And you being in the room makes things awkward
the pharmacist hit on me as i picked up my herpes medecine. i think we found a winner.
if i actually bought condoms for every time i had sex, i could single handedly fix the economy
Were you really trying to feed me potato chips while I was sitting on the toilet?
Sorry I forced you to take an adderall at 1am and then proceeded to dance to Lose Yourself outside of Qdoba.
I recorded his orgasm, set it as his ringtone, and called him while they were singing happy birthday to his mom. Yeah, revenge is sweet.
If I end up in a healthy relationship because of this, I will NEVER forgive you!!!
It's like your nipple is comforting my nipple.
Can you stop being a bitch and just take some Kaluha shots with me bro?!?
Yo, how much weed can I get for a caf swipe?
My boobs just got me out of my third ticket last night
i'm so proud. i woke up to nearly seven feet of basketball player in my bed this morning
you win. again.
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