I CAN MOONWALK!
Gordon Ramsey's restaurant in NY is $150 each for the chef's menu
So you're taking me there this weekend?
oh, looks like he just opened a new restaurant right by us- it's called "McDonald's". Must be scottish food.
so I woke up and found tortilla in my belly button
there needs to be a build-a-bong store...
Just found the book "How to Stay Christian in College" on my roommates desk. At a loss for words...
just saw someone puke all over a michigan fan. he didn't even flinch.
god is playing jersey shore on new years on purpose. he wants me to play drinking games and die. i wish he knew how serious this is.
he was so drunk I had to hold him up and he started crying when he heard an ambulance siren and said "is that for me?"
we smoked out of your homemade aunt jamima bong
I'm a busy girl. All I wanted was noncommittal sex a few times a week
I folded my dollar bills into mustaches in preparation for our trip to the strip club
So what your saying is I can use her desperation to my advantage. Fuck, this must be how pretty girls feel.
You would seriously think I would remember who put themselves in my phone as Burt Rynalds Moustache, but I don't. And I need to be reminded of who you are so I can give you a proper high five.
Screaming "dámelo" at the bottle of scotch was definitely my best and worst moment of Cinco de Mayo 2015.
You know that thing where you wouldn't typically eat ass but you're in love with him so you want to eat his ass, because it's HIS ass
Randomize
