fun fact: cucumber in vinegar with pepper = best ever high snack
You kept screaming "Its taco night!" before every shot
She was so morning drunk she asked the lady at brueggers for a bandaid and my self respect back
Im otw to class. I was at the Library. Just past three girls with a bottle of tequila playing dizzy bat.
nope. just stoned. wishing i had a golf cart.
His mom finally got over her shame and smoked a bowl with us. Merry Christmas to all aka me.
I'm usually good at keeping a straight face, but not while singing a ballad to a stranger in a bathroom.
So you're mad that I let you go home with the guy with soft hands but yet you can't understand that I was just trying to help you
Jeff brought me a cup of coffee to my desk. He's getting a blow job.
I think my fortune cookie is telling me I give good blowjobs.
When I come home and take my bra off and I'm served with a perfect grilled cheese along with a glass of wine. Priceless.
I someohow managed to lose my butt plug in tne midst of moving to B.C. and I am not a happy camper.
We celebrated Cinco the right way. We took shots of 1800 then he fucked me while Selena was on TV in the background
I forgot to lock the door last night. I woke up cuz a guy opened my bedroom door, asked me who I was and where he was. And there was another guy standing in the living room asking me if I knew what apartment "Travis" lives in.
I know he’s married, but he’s still a guy with balls and a dick. He noticed my cleavage and stared at my ass. He’ll call.
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