So he passed out in the bathroom of the bar, woke up thinking he was somewhere else and called her flipping his shit because he thought she left him. She had to go into the men's bathroom to find him, and then he told her she was "trying too hard to be his girlfriend" over and over again.
Dont they live together now? Havent they been together for like two years?
Yeah. That's the best part. I always thought he was kind of a pussy but turns out he's a degenerate just like us. Welcome
I called her a whore. 15 minutes later she gave me head at arby's while i was eating a roast beef. best afternoon ever
They need a stunt cock, be about 20 more minutes.
Just because Aaron is a gender neutral name does not mean I am letting you name your baby after a drug dealer
Well she just peed in a pot and is now trying to boil it
Ok fuckface listen up and listen good. 1.calling dibs on a chick out of your league is like applying for a job with a highlight video 2. dont fucking ski down the stairs again 3. if you do, put it on your highlight video
Someone just got kicked out of the mall for being dressed like a giant cat. I feel like this is in your future.
He was president of his frat and had a clap on disco ball in his room... or course I slept with him
My chin is breaking out a bit and feels all itchy and burny like I'm allergic to something. Are you using a new lotion on your balls?
You talked the cab driver into taking a shot from your flask at a red light because "Ray Charles would want him to"
Sexual favors are the only currency recognized by the Republic of Greg
Now I don't feel like I'm sweating cheeseburger all the time.
Do not, I repeat, DO NOT uncuff him no matter how much he begs. He knows what he did.
you should just get a floor plan of your dorm and start checking off rooms.
I had to ask my mom to look for my kegle ball...
Randomize
