So ignoring my calls doesnt work if you update your facebook a minute later.
He dyes his hair, fake tans and lies constantly. What did you really expect from him?
A better fuck for starters.
so the sex was amazing up until the point where she said "wow, you're even better than your dad!"
She's sitting on the couch buck naked, eating a cupcake for dinner. I'm breaking new ground as a parent here.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just was on a 20min team conference call where I didn't speak, I used a Gus Johnson soundboard online to answer questions asked to me...the highlight of 2010
Something about a hand job in a car doesn't scream girlfriend
My mom just called me to tell me that i dont have chlamydia. Awkward.
No. I'm wrapped up in my sheets like a burrito. Carry me
i wondered why i had so many splinters in my hand, then i went out to my car and remembered id stolen an entire cactus
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Drunkenly tried to auction off Merik's pancakes at Ihop. Apparently I make a great auctioneer. Also, no one wants 30 cent pancakes.
I mean honestly, I love naps like Anthony Weiner loves sending dick pics
Watching the Walking Dead, snuggled up naked, and drinking a beer. No better way.
If ever there was a tweet to describe your life, it's this.
I mean obviously I like your dick... Jury is still out on you but your dick is good
How's my sex life is me mastubating next to her dog. that's how it's going.
He was telling me how he was trying to grow up. And then 2 minutes later, he told me he was tripping on lsd for the first time.
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