I may or may not have screamed I'M ON A BOAT while having sex...on a boat. I think I was born to have sex with him.
were with a gay guy with a minnesota accent. think about how funny that sounds.
I thought I had fell out of his trailer but he says I tried to ninja kick his TV stand saying those girls hula hooping were trying to seduce him. There wasn't anyone else there.
Just smoked out of an apple with Steve Jobs. I love Halloween.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
theres 2 cans of open Campbell's soup on the counter and a note that says "guess which one is puke" ... want lunch?
Hey mom, soo do we have a family lawyer or am I on my own for that?
I stirred my drink with a butcher knife. His roomate keeps giving me dirty looks
Like what do you want from me
Ah. Hot spring. Infinitely less skeevy than a hot tub. These North Carolinian dudes are all class.
You continued to run around saying "free the nipple" while "taste testing" every liquor on the premises.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
of fours songebofy did dknt stop believing
how legible are my texts
Van sex tonight? No need to tell me how classy that sounded.
I fucked that choir dude last night. he had the most strangely musical moans. it was like a Sound Of Music porno.
My fart just smelled like the inside of white castle, I mean spot on, no difference whatsoever.
I frew up on some kids lovely sidealk chald drawings..
When we were in Vegas he tried to get an Elvis impersonator to act dead on a toilet so he could take photos. This is even worse
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