There's a technique?! I just slide my tongue around
the condom got lost in my hair
There is a reason Crest White Strips don't list masturbation as one of the myriad of activities to do while whitening your teeth. A very good reason.
According to my dad, my tongue ring makes people assume I give a lot of blow jobs because, as stated by him "that's what it's for"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You're pretty and everything..but you aren't worth the DUI
Definitely saw about 20 people at my final that were never present before. It's like seeing who's gonna be serving me fries in 4 years.
just started drinking the sprite you used to ice your crotch last night. Missing you already
Desperately trying not to throw up over the side of the ferry back to CT. Can't be the first one of the season.
No she had like 2 shots and started ironing her clothes and whispering random shit in my ear
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just had a flashback to the three of us in the bed and me shouting AM I THE BIGGEST OR LITTLEST SPOON?!
Please make sure you have solid number of friends around you that wouldn't be afraid to break a bottle and stab someone. If you're planning on drinking all of that, you're going to need a safety net.
In local news "Man Stabbed With Golf Club" next person who tells me this is a safe place to live gets punched...
Yes, bail money means jail. It also means lie to dad, do it now.
What happens if you die with an erection? Does it stay hard? Disclaimer: I'm high.
All I remember was my mom walking through the door, and then me asking her if she wanted a hit.
Randomize