omg so im topless lying on my bed and i forgot my nail clippers are on my bed and i just leaned forward and the nail clipper closed. on my nipple. ouch
I'm pretty sure she sent a group text out saying that I was the one to get with her last night and sorry to everyone who didnt make it.
Honestly it was an honor just to be nominated.
stuffed animals make me feel really maternal.
Everything was going good until she wanted to update her status...You forgot to close pterodactyl porn from this morning. Clothes went back on.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
don't you miss freshman year when you could get away with "but i've never given a bj before..."
I mean what are real friends for if they won't hold down your wedding dress to allow for a keg stand
She told me she needed to clarify that we are not fuck buddies, we are best friends that have sex once in a while
Waking and baking in my bathtub. In a giant sweater. And no pants. This is going to be the best 420 ever.
private study room at the lib turned into byob study room. that turned into battle royale and eric impaling his leg on a pen.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm starting to think you fell asleep on your kitchen floor pantless with salsa spilt around you
The boat wouldn't start, so we brought it back to her house and we've been sitting in it in her driveway for the past 5 hours drinking beer and yelling at peoplee.
him crossdressing on the weekends is awkward but not a deal breaker for me.
Is 1:30 too early for the bar?
Do you want my opinion or society's?
I want your company
Of course I fucked him. He's a professional beat boxer, his entire job is to do complicated shit with his tongue.
We could never date. He doesn't drink and he won't bring me tacos after sex. He's on that healthy life bullshit.
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