I am at The Loft in SoNo, and there are two girls within arms reach that are making out with each other AGGRESIVELY. Like I can see 100% of a boob
For future reference, this is Trevors little sisters phone now. Trevs number is 484 XXX XXXX. Great story tho
Should I be offended if he asked if he could use saran wrap to eat me out?
He just asked me if his big had a curved penis. Awkward? I think so.
he was so nervous about his first time.. it was like michael j. fox trying to put on a condom...
judging by the cake all over the hall, my neighbors had a pretty successful thursday too.
Girl passed out in class and vomited. Another victim of syllabus week
That's the point of day drinking, get fucked up by 6pm so you can get stuff done the next day. It's the adult thing to do.
doing shots of $6 a bottle whiskey and chasing it with milk. my own personal way of saying fuck life.
He made me eat donuts off his dick. donuts, jen. DONUTS.
please, i've had weekends with less dignity than this.
I haven't been this unsober in a long time. I feel like I am observing myself. Like I am a test subject for alcohol. I wish my brain would shut up and let me be a normal drunk.
Major life highlight, she said my dick taste like coffee.
So I'm just casually at the grocery store when I remember that there's still a clove of garlic in my vagina
i dont believe you. i want proof. if you end up at a hospital send me a pic.
Well, if I'm gonna go gay, it's gonna be for NPH
Randomize
