yeah my walk of shame consisted of driving on the wrong side of the road at 6am still drunk with cum drying in my hair and left eye.
I just woke up covered In blood, I have cuts all over my body, I can't find my clothes from last night, I'm still wasted, i'm pretty sure I have a sprained ankle, and the best part is, I have absolutely no recollection of what led to this. THAT'S why vodka is the greatest drink in the world.
just did the walk of shame by his grandma. what the fuck is an old lady doing up at six am?
I just slapped my cat in the face with my dildo. You were the only one I could tell.
He probs deserved it.
Every good man does.
Apparently i was peeing on things and marking my territory. I broke their light socket too. Needless to say im banned from their apartment.
The tornado sirens were going off and everyone just ran to the liquor store. .
come on down! you are the next contestant on the night is drunk!
dude I just got a noise complaint from my apartment people for loud sexual activities. I'm framing this for sure
And on that day, Satan said; "Let there be the friend zone and let us get fucking high." while Jesus silently cried in the background.
Go for gold. Two birds with one vag.
How would your parents feel if we installed a sex swing?
There's always a silver lining when massive voluptuous tits are involved
i wasnt sure i had a crush on her until i woke up this morning and saw i had googled fifteen variations of "lesbian marriage in estonia". where the fuck is estonia
I would literally only have sex with a dinosaur right now.
remember when we said that thing when we met about how we were each glad we weren’t furries
ok listen,
Randomize
