perhaps when you are drinking red wine from a tall glass with a straw it is time to call it a night.
Court Ordered Rehab!!! Do you think I'll need a swimsuit?
I need a DD tuesday morning around 9 AM
I'm scared to ask why.....
1st bikini wax. Jose Cuervo is helping me prepare.
In need of cum proof mascara. Don't judge me.
he was definitely TRYING to give me herpes.
Went to the strip club with my aunt. Do you know how hard it is to be a pervert in front of your female family members?
I wouldn't be surprised. You and I have basically synced up our brain chemistry by doing drugs together in the same way that two girls would sync their menstrual cycles by sharing a house.
Im gonna wear a random assortment of things for Halloween, guy with the most creative answer gets laid
I'm seeing double so when I get home can we have a threesome?
Your boobs stole my birthday thunder!
He walked around my apt complex completely naked and started peeing in the maintenance because he thought it was the bathroom. So yeah, pretty drunk.
Let go out that Thursday night!
Yess sounds good, I have to go turn myself in the next day because what happened last Friday.
Normal people find beers in their gym bag, right?
They gave me 4 meds at the health center and said not to take alcohol with any of them. Guess ill wait until tomorrow to feel better.
Stand and applaud for me. I have successfully masturbated in a Walmart changing room with the door wide open during normal business hours. I lead a very Charmed Life.
Randomize
