Just saw an old lady trip and stumble. Laughed. Kept Driving. I'm going to hell.
All I remember from my 21st is crying because the bouncer made him put his shirt back on
I should take him calling me "a freak of nature" after sex as a compliment, right??
Knitting and drinking wine. Forget my 21st birthday, might as well just skip to my 60th
I woke up and blew hamburger out my nose. That kinda night.
MISSING: One left eyebrow. Reward if returned.
There's a lady here with a big bag of dildos. I'm not sure that's appropriate bar baggage but, I like her style
Props to the guy on crutches playing edward forty hands. Dedicated to drinking games is an understatement.
He got a slutty, ugly mother of a 7 year old, and I got a dog that only sleeps and shits on clean clothes. No one won in this break up.
By getting lucky do you mean I get one of your incredible BJs or you not killing me by the end of dinner?
I'm taking a leave of absence and sending myself to fat camp. I'll let you know when I'm out.
Can I just skip the lesson I have planned for tomorrow and just teach my students about Prohibition using my impending hangover?
This is why american education is failing
I would agree. Whose business is it if I like to guzzle vodka by the liter on my of time? Answer: mine.
Who put the meatball sub on my door handle?
The assignment was about the Industrial Revolution so I just screamed at them in a British accent all day. No, they didn't know I was hungover.
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