Strip flip cup NEVER equals good idea
Jon and Kate are totally playing with my emotions.
i mean i care more about their marriage then my own parents
She was walking with the authority that 2 beers gave to a light weight.
The cab driver just finished telling me how leaving community college after one month was the best desicion he ever made.
so apparently telling her she could shit easier and therefore lose weight faster wasn't the best arguement for getting anal.
You refused to come over and kept yelling that you were gonna sleep on a car
She had her underwear around her neck. No one can tell me i'm a slut now.
Whatever you gave me is making me lactate
I'm gonna be a few minutes late, some asshole just fell off the ferry so we had to stop.
I cant tell which is worse. That its only my third time doing laundry this year or that its the first time ive done it sober.
This isn't fair. Why can't sober me be good at bejeweled?
I had sex with a Dutch boy on a rock last night. Happy graduation! x x
do you think me going to the gyno dressed as a cat is inappropriate?
downside - we got stuck at the intersection before the santa clause parade started and had to wait for it to end. upside - i got frontrow seats and a blow job to the santa clause parade.
Lest it die in the depths of eternal drunken recall denial...we peed in the street. Middle of the street. Simultaneously. Peed. Street. Middle of street.
Randomize
