All I know is it had something to do with a plunger and tuna salad. I'm done. I'm quitting my job.
remember when mike pissed in his pants and then put a double cheeburger in the pocketsss of said wet pants for "safe keeping"? yea drunker then that.
Just threw up my room service breakfast with my fake eyelashes and pearls still on.
the recent google searches were "were can i buy a porn horse, why does my heart hurt after drinking, and orlando's teen night..." your thought process perplexes me
It's not every day you get to see a girl fuck herself with a pickle.
I don't think I'm emotionally ready for this blow job.
downstairs . braiding the drunk passed out girls hair, she will thank us In the morning
There is a contact in my phone named "Bar Mcntysu." this is why we need a third person to go out with us.
I've discovered that regular handcuff keys, sadly, do not work on real police handcuffs.
Its not gay if you're best friends and there's less than an inch of dick in the picture. That's where the line is drawn
somehow he and i always have our deepest conversations after phone sex.
I feel like calling off tonight. Is a strong desire for masturbation a valid reason?
I just threw in a dip with a guy that superglued his fake tooth back in today. My life is complete.
I have one goal now that I am in the USA. To find a man I can fuck into marriage before my visa runs out.
Remember I am not doing blow tonight. I REPEATE NO COCAINE unless I do it with your mom
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