they started playing Don't Stop Believin' and you had a melt down because it wasnt the Glee version
I fucked her on my hockey bag. it doesnt get any more Canadian than that.
Wearing the BK Crown on the throne while dropping the kids off at the pool? Yes, one of my life's goals. Win
Quick question, how many times can you get chlamydia before your vagina just gives up and falls off?
If i ever start ordering tequila again please tackle me to the ground and steal my wallet
I forgot how wholesome of a place a park is when youre not drinking there.
It was kicking off big time until you crawled out the bar on your hands and knees. Nobody wanted to mess with that.
if i bang your brother are we still cool?
I'm at a gyno in Japan. Safe to say every possible rule of etiquette is about to be broken. Buckle up, motherfuckers.
Is there some sort of line being crossed when your shower activities start to involve jimmy johns?
When he breaks your heart after he reveals he's gay, I'll be there for you. -Love, Dad
A check for $9 that I used to buy six boxes of Girl Scout cookies bounced. I think I've hit a new low.
I described my life as a 7 layer cake of death
Walking actually physically hurts. We should do it again some time.
She told me the next morning I stared at her tits for like 15 minutes with binoculars from only a few seats away.
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