It only happened twice. Once we used extra virgin olive oil and once I used saliva and brute force.
she burped and cried multiple times. it was like i was getting head from a baby.
I just almost got out my car and drop kicked this one chick over parking. Welcome to the first day of spring semester.
i woke up on my kitchen floor, halfway through a text, and my mascara running... this is why i stopped drinking tequila
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
speaking of graduation plans, i'm blacked out eating sausage
She asked the taxi driver to stop at the Texaco because she had to puke. She did then stumbled into the gas station and bought a 40.
Just had a brita power hour to try to counter act all the wine i chugged last night.....fucking franzia
you kept introducing yourself to guys as "never going to happen"
Your stoned with a 2 year old in the room....and that makes you want to have babies?!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well you ended up trying to convince two Greek girls that you were Greek, but failed massively by shouting at them in Spanish, and then almost vomiting after taking way too much snuff. Maybe lay off the guinness next time?
lesson learned. Never drop acid before a trip to the aquarium. Sounds awesome, is actually terrifying.
I think the pizza delivery guy is getting a handjob next door.
YOu just turned down my vagina. Something must be wrong. Vegas changed you!
I brought an already opened bag of trail mix from home to snack on today. Some motherfucker ate all the m&ms out of it. I hate my roommates
Nobody cheats on THIS.
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