quick I need to know all the foods that the very hungry caterpillar ate
What did you wear last night? Because I'm pretty sure there are atleast 4 Facebook statuses about your walk of shame.
I just want him to slap me with his dick and call it love
we put a pacifier in your mouth because you kept drunkenly singing country music.
I judge a person on how well they respect their vaginas... I can tell by the lack of respect she has for hers I dislike her.
I'm a busy girl. All I wanted was noncommittal sex a few times a week
fat people need to stop using the handicapped bathroom stall so I can have sex in it. it's common logic
We tried to play tennis but after about 15 minutes we gave up and fucked against the fence. Woulda been a cute third date so of course I had to ruin it.
We kind of broke a table making out. So yes, I'd say it was successful.
Just please try not to piss Danny off, I really can't afford to find a new drug dealer again
Costco cheesecake and whisky. A night made in heaven
It was a good dick. I give credit where credit is due. A good dick deserves praise.
Tell me not to drink and get on ladders. I think I need the reminder.. I'm clumsy enough sober.
I did just chug a pint glass of wine during a solid round of masterbation, so I believe I am ready for bingo.
I just had to explain my bite marks to my allergy doctor when she gave me my shots...You're the best <3
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