so on my way home this naked dude runs right in front me his weiner at half mast screaming i'm only doing this cause its a 50 dollar dare
It all came flooding back to me: there was a woman with one hand
Three questions. How does a tomato drive a car, how does an asparagus play a guitar, and how am I still so high that I chose to watch Veggie Tales?
i used the pictures of vaginas in your biology book to jack off.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just figured you know how to drive a boat and I know how to get drunk. What can go wrong
vodka bottle broke. scooping it out of the plastic tub with a shot glass into a sprite bottle using a ziplock bag as a funnel and straining the glass out with paper towels. good thursday night?
Just found a peacock feather in my car. Should I be the least bit concerned about this?
I'm not drinking cause I'm like 4 vodkas away from a boom box and Peter Gabriel.
The trashcan full of everclear punch caught on fire...you should probably come home now.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Also, what is a socially acceptable way to introduce a crossbow in public?
When he breaks your heart after he reveals he's gay, I'll be there for you. -Love, Dad
skipped tacos for a blowjob. No tacos. No blowjob. More importantly...no tacos. Wtf?
I woke up with an empty beer bottle in my slipper and a note that said "it just wants to be warm"
the fact that your 21st birthday is also new years eve is pretty much a death sentence
he's single and there are thong briefs.
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