he said he wanted to butter my pancake. i thought it was sexual, but he went downstairs and made pancakes. i need to stop dating fat guys.
Just saw some girl biking on campus with a babyseat on the front. Baby included. Do you know how many points that'd be worth?
He made me a period mix..should I back out now?
do you think a sharp knife would stab through a cheese suit?
animal crackers drenched in taco bell mild sauce... surprisingly delightful
breakfast of champions
breakfast of stoners
And you will no longer be getting a thank you note from my vagina
He was just lying on the living room floor watching Star Wars with six empty pack of cigarettes and two empty cases of beer.
In his defence I guess I did take the bed, couch and dining room set in the breakup.
Why yes. I did get laid looking like that. My sheets look like there was a clown orgy
...and as she's going down on me I look at the speedo and I'm doing 15 under, with 6 cars tailgating me, and I know her parents saw her head pop up because they were the car right behind us.
If someone told me one person in the department was secretly a death eater, I would suspect her, no contest.
please let it be arousing that I used numbers to figure out how well I'd give you head
If the sex wasn't incredible why would I compare it to cheesy tots
of fours songebofy did dknt stop believing
how legible are my texts
HE WILL NEVER BE ONE OF US. HE WILL NEVER BE A DECENT, GOD-FEARING WHORE.
I do have a history of lying to Customs. I once convinced them I was an astronaut.
Randomize
