I didn't think it was possible for the human body to be physically dependant on weed until I moved in with this kid
this crazy girl in up in Dennys is going crazy because Bob Saget just texted her.
No shame. Just smoked a bowl with a Norwegian. Feels like something to cross off a list.
she said "i got this" and then fell on her face. within grabbing distance of the wall and her boyfriend
the bar just sent me a facebook message congratulating me on being a regular and getting such good grades. my life is not real.
She told me that when she orgasms she just lays there like that baby from teenmom. Who the fuck says that
I think the solution to your phobia is an open relationship with your dildo. about the same responsibility as a pet rock
Karaoke machines out. We're taking turns farting into the microphone. Shits going south fast. Definitely be awake when you get home.
I don't know if it is the Everclear or chemistry, but i think my brain is coming out of my ears.
Our first crop came in on the day that they added Hercules to Netflix Instant, I think it's the universe telling us that it approves of us growing shrooms in our guest room.
If you think eating a bowl of leftover stuffing and drinking champagne from the bottle in dirty sweats at 9am is sexy... Then yeah, I'm your girl.
I need a "no soliciting" sign for your dick
We have moved from phase 1: honeymoon, to phase 2: trapped in relationship until the cold embrace of death
I told you about the baby at the graduation party that looked into my eyes and knew I was empty inside
As your boyfriend, I'm gonna congratulate you on winning that fist fight. But as a cop, I have to tell you to not do that again.
Randomize
