garbage
garbage dick
rubbish cock
you win
I have a new suitor he got my # last nite... I was to tipsy to function! What was I thinking!! It's like u when u first met me
So I just found panties on our kitchen floor that had a slit in the vagina section. Does that mean shes open for sex, or she has a penis?
Just did shrooms. Don't feel shit! Wsasted 40 bucks on this! Nothing's happenig except for this little gnome on my shoulder and the couch is melting. Fuckin waste of money.
have you ever been in a public bathroom and someone walked in, and you played "Fat or Crying" based on her breathing?
what is TOTES MCGOATS in spanish?
There is a bruise on my cock the size of a golfball. Bad sign.
tried unsuccessfully for 10 minutes to do bong hits while wearing glow in the dark vampire fangs before realizing air was getting out of the sides of my mouth
He used one end of the towel to wipe the cum and I used the other end to wipe the tears
they duct taped my keg cup to my hand with my sister's phone number on it. I should be ok tonight.
There are walks of shame and then there are walks of what the hell is wrong with you.
Never drinking again. Maybe, if our boss gave us more 3-day weekends we would know how to handle ourselves. That was a shit show.
We're at the liquor store. Then going to the hospital
Like I thought me shitting my pants was bad today... Then the election happened.
It finally happened. Some guy just tried to catfish me with my own dick pic. Of course I told him that it was the hottest dick I'd ever seen and that I would do anything for that particular dick.
Randomize