I want to stick my p in your. b.
My mom caught just caught me jerking off...in her room.
I had his cock in my mouth and he still wouldn't shut up about Star Wars.
how opposed are you to picking me up at the bar at 11:00am?
scratched cornea got me an eyepatch and a blowjob from a girl with a thing for pirates
I've been alternating between telling people I was mauled by a bear or hit by a car to explain the massive unexplainable bruise on my leg. Slightly more worried now that the car idea is believable.
Yeah dude, it's amazing. Be careful though, that shit is really really intense. Like it's way more intense than normal shit...
I took two and feel like crushed diamonds spread over glazing marmalade
It was dark, she woke me up, gave me a blowjob and then whispered in my ear: do you know who I am?
my first words to him the next morning were "do you like magic"?
I just power smoked 3 bongs, ate hot cocoa mix before making hot cocoa, and realized James Spader's character on The Office reminds me of your mom.
Every time he asks me if I'm horny I'm just like come on...stupid question
the breathalyzer kept saying danger. we made our new slogan danger we need more shots
I have a fever. Last thing I need to do tonight is be elbow deep in old lady pussy.
last night you told me I had a dark, salty butthole
Will you remind me I changed my hotspot phone password to fuckyouprivilegedwhitedude
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