I pooped in a mop bucket.
WTF???
Their employee restroom was locked what kind of customer service is that
My girlfriend went down on me and as she did she hummed the theme from star wars and pretended my dick was a lightsaber...I'm buying the engagement ring tomorrow
Myspace is for pedophiles and tweakers in the 818 trying to hook up. I always forget theres music there too
Shit. Come in my room. Bring a trashcan and an icepack
It's not fair. Guys with dicks that huge should not be allowed to be catholic.
The guy I fucked last night is well worth up the ass tuition. I just wish I could tell dad thanks!
what the fuck a piece of candy corn just came out of her nose
Does hooking up with the gay pledge count as hazing?
why are all my papers due the day after my potential hangover
sooo what's the appropriate music to listen to after you find out the dude you been fucking, is legit married with kids...what genre is that?
Tequila pump. I'm ecstatic your engineering degree has real world application.
I think my boss gives me work off weekends because he doesn't want me showing up hungover anymore..
I just bottomed with the last unicorn playing in the background. I've hit a new level of gay.
This is a test message to see whether or not the recipient is alive.
yea i'll help you find a man. but, when I say jump, you say on who.
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