if you come down to my room ill tell you a secret
He has jerked off in so many socks I am surprised he doesn't have athletes dick
you were trying to give my penis an indian burn.
My doc was like ur only supposed to have 6 sexual partners..thats just one semester at college
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Halloween has nothing on dressing up as as the INS on cinco de mayo
So i wrote 'don't sex me' on my stomach, so that if we got to a point where my shirt is off - he would know how i really feel, not just the alcohol talking
how did that work out?
Well, all the water washed it off, so we ended up fucking since i didn't have my reminder...
Yeah, well I just made $600 while taking a shut cause two diff clients called while I was in here. Tell me being a lawyer doesn't kick ass.
I can't tell you what you just drank, that would ruin the point of Mystery Monday.
well I think it'll pretty much be gone by Saturday. On a scale of 1- Snooki's unborn child how much do periods freak you out?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have no idea. But that is beside the point bc in vegas I'm a pro vball player from Ireland and a veterinarian on the weekends
How do I enter a double puke and rally into my calorie counter?
When you were bringing him upstairs I told him to bring you on down to pound town. you're welcome.
quick, give me some iron man trivia, i'm going to make this girl regret quoting tony stark in her tinder bio
what food is Colorado known for?
Pot brownies.
I was so drunk I got stuck in the middle of a revolving door
Randomize