Dont judge me. Him and his friends got me drunk for free, the least i could do was suck his dick
It's true- you can buy beer at McDonald's in France. I'm not coming back to the States.
so there is either a lot of blood or a lot of wine in the shower....
Please tell me why 'cock-a-thon' was auto saved in my phone.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So I am guessing last night was a success we are all accounted for and only 3 of us have hospital bracelets on
Remind me to switch to jello when you decide to do shots off my ass. It's so much easier to clean than this pudding.
I don't know... But I do think this is probably the longest series of texts we've written discussing your cock. David was right, it is a brave new world. Also, slow day at work again?
I'm still drunk. I put on workout clothes this morning and just puked in my bathroom. That's the same as going to the gym, right?
It is not if she takes a guy home Karaoke night. It is how many.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just coughed and my vagina hurt. We need to hook up more.
Are you sure he's still you're boyfriend when you're sober?
I'm about to play another round of who's panties are in my car.
You know you have an interesting job when you go to work and have to Google search "How to get poop out of a dryer".
No problem...what are friends for if they can't rub eachothers genitals.
The wine is franzia the food is cheese puffs there is a canoe full of beer and the andre glasses are mason jars glued to candle sticks. i shit you not. Best. Wedding. Ever.
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