but it happened after you broke up with me and before we made up.
Threw my underwear in my purse as I was running away after sex last night, went to pick up my birth control prescription this morning, took out my wallet and accidentally flung my sweet thong onto the counter in front of the cashier. Think that was the universes way of telling me I am a whore.
He snuck into some random hotel's continental breakfast at 3 AM and then passed out on a bench in the lobby. When the cops found him they made him empty out his pockets. No phone, no ID just muffins.
Is it a bad thing I remember to take my birth control when I stumble across guys I've had sex with on facebook?
Remind me to tell you the "if you give a mouse a special brownie" story when you get back
If that really is brett favre's penis, no wonder she ignored his calls
I hope the walls stop moving before my manager notices that i'm still drunk.
The question is do I invite my fuck buddy to my graduation party now that my girfriend found out about her?
My lips are red and swollen. Solid proof that giving head is a viable alternative to lipstick and plumper.
He shit in a sock dude, you can't come back from that
Um yeah. I just puked. And found your contact.
He's getting me an energy drink and said good morning beautiful. He must sense i'm cutting him off from the sex.
Best case scenario: sex with hot bartender \nWorst case scenario: no sex and punched by tattooed guy that may or may not be said bartenders boyfriend.
We told you to act sober so to prepare yourself you started doing squats and stretching then you slapped yourself and walked in
I know he's married but I don't know how else to show sympathy! Nudes are my only emotional currency.
Randomize
