Well i threw up in my mouth a few times. But i successfully swallowed it. Still going strong.
Have fun fixing the bed from last night Bob Villa.
At least you didn't call me Brittany this time
You were passed out on the chair and when I asked you if you were okay you looked up and said "I'm fine, I was just pretending for a picture" then passed out again.
It's now 3:30 and the guy I went home with is showering me with shredded cheese. Nbd.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Who knew that one of those cheesy light up equalizer shirts would be the light that all those drunk college girls gathered like moths around?
I said you have to fuck the german guy and take one for the team...it's a once in a lifetime opportunity you know.
We can't BOTH have terrible sex lives. Get fucked or throw him out.
He expects to fuck my tits but will ignore me in public.
THIS CHICK IS LIKE SOME SORT OF HOOKER HOUDINI.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How does one hint at their mentee that they used to casually fuck his brother
Best ethics paper a stoner could write. I called my professor Dr. Superfly Arandia. And I'm pretty sure I used "respect the hustle" somewhere in there too.
I'm 2 beers deep on an empty stomach, and I just wanna say, I pride myself on my use of commas
And here I thought that was one nut sack too many
Here when you come to your senses come back here and I'll fuck you back out of them.
BRB. These cougars are squabbling over my junk and one of them is offering to pay my tuition
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