And i quote: "where's y'alls from comin' in with them accents?" - from a mississipi mcdonalds
I can't finish this paper in my room because every time I get distracted I start masterbating. I think it's time to go to the library...
I'm not a creep or anything, just a lost soul looking for a good lay
I wouldn't take my shot so you poured it on my face. Twice.
Thank you for getting us into that car accident. I have had more guys hit on me than ever before because of my broken fingers.
his phone is always ringing though. It makes me feel like I'm dating a doctor who's always on call.
yeah, dating a doctor sounds much better than fucking your drug dealer.
Our suitemates are shrooming again. I left a less colorful dress hanging on the door, change before you come in because purple is making Maeve cry.
Nice just gets you lonely or dead. I don't like those options.
We were like ok let's be eachothers maid of honor and then you were like "ok see you at the wedding" and walked away
gonna guess the empty vodka bottle and open can of tuna in the bathroom drawer are related?
I'll call you on my way home
Oh my god I'm going to die between now and then... can you at least tell me if y'all hooked up???
I grabbed the pretzel bag with my toes last night. I think that day of yoga had paid off.
im about to go through the checkout with 3 flasks and a wedding card. let the judgement begin!
update: cashier guessed cash bar before i could say anything. completely bypassed "dry" and knew cash bar right away. i love this state.
I always knew ther was a reason why we're best friends
Obvs our love of drugs
I like to think of it more as our love of curiosity
I got there and she was on her balcony drinking out of a bottle of vodka and smoking a cigar.
Randomize
