i can't watch a movie tonight dude, im smoking weed
you smoke with your eyes?
I'm thinking of having one or both of my boobs out. They're small but they're mighty.
This girl is drinking wine and watching grey's anatomy in the library during finals week. I hate comm majors.
Just mindlessly walked into the mens bathroom. My vagina has now become its own independent being, looking for penises. I'm just along for the ride.
I usually would've stopped there but I kinda remember opening the bottle of vodka, and we ALL know that's when things go downhill.
I am thinkingif I am doing snow Angels in your living room, I probably had too much to drink
We attempted to microwave fifteen corndogs in the microwave and may have ruined it. Also there were fake mustaches on all of his appliances...he said he doesn't like drunk me.
He just invited me over to bang on a sunday afternoon. If I can make it top the time I went to a strip club on fathers day then I'll consider it a success.
So far, my day has been sparkling with the tears of a thousand rainbow unicorns. I'd say this is quality shit you've grown.
Who wants vodka and apple sauce
SOMEONE WITH THE TWITTER HANDLE "METHLAB" FAVORITED THAT PICTURE
The owner was showing me around and pointed at one of the bars and said "this is the one you're allowed to dance on. I could tell you wanted to ask." DREAM JOB.
He is always putting motivational shit on FB. So its like i know hes sad lonely and looking at internet porn. Break up winning
I find celibacy oppressive. Huge waste of my time and talents.
I HATE BEING THIS HIGH FML IT'S LIKE I'M MAKING UP FOR ALL THE 4:20S I DIDNT DO ALL AT ONCE
Randomize
