that girl last night was a 15
wait she was 15?
no like black jack not sure if you should hit it
this kid in class is playing minesweeper and just slammed the desk because he lost. thank god were normal.
I'm sorry for what I said earlier...your vagina wouldn't look funny If you had a kid.
Apparently the library doesn't care about celebrating the day Jesus became a zombie.
Using 'equal to a modern day cock block" in term paper, inappropriate
dude, i woke up with a mini keg on my night stand. again. like wtf
admittedly, it's a little weird getting relationship advice from the mother of a former one night stand. but she's a wise lady and she buys me drinks, so i'm ok with it.
Nothing brings people closer than bonding over tequila shots and running from campus security.
Young lesbians are the worst. And also what got me through high school, sooooo
Jesus, you make out with one twin then sleep with the other and suddenly they don't want to play soccer with you... Men can be so sensitive...
Rule #61 of being a lady: never get fingered by a finger with a knuckle tattoo
He made me a flamingo drink and now I don't know why things are the way they are.
Pussy, Peanut Butter Cookies,and Bubble Wrap
I would just like to say that I was the one who said that we should find scissors, when they were cutting your hair with a kitchen knife. I am responsible.
I still feel bad for it, even though I technically only videotaped it and helped will to distract the questioning neighbor
True life: I got so drunk that i took a shower with my clothes on at 4 am...
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