who are you and why are you in my phone as dr. seuss
I wish we were homeless so drinking on the streets was acceptable.
Appropriately today was the first time I've ever GTL'd. I can't believe I made fun of this,it's rather relaxing.
the cool security guard showed me the video clip of how i sat criss-cross-applesauce on the elevator for 20 minutes last night
hey, this is the drunk ass freshman from last night. thanks alot for helping me out last night, i'd probably be on some lawn if it wasn't for you guys! and my mom says thanks for talking to her
OMG HE JUST PUKED WITH THE DOOR OPEN WHILE DRIVING ON THE ROAD AND OMG WE NEED TO CHAT BUT NOT ATM CAUSE THERES PUKE ON MY PHONE
When else am I ever going to have a chance to do lines with T-Pain?
I miss the time when Mondays weren't the new Thursdays. I can't drink like my 17 year old self anymore.
I woke up this morning with a wristband and I thought I went to the hospital last night I actually went ice skating instead
took some adderal to make my alochol withdrawl less shitty. now im just concentrating on how badly i need a drink
I'm on the bus, watching a girl shush her balloons.
Honesty, no. I just want to shower you with hot dogs.
She had an asthma attack and had to stop but insisted on getting me off. It's official she's the one
I can't remember the last time I saw a penis in person that I didn't see a million times on text first
Hey long story short Grandma needs bail money.
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