wow. When I'm done with him he's going to have to pop his collar in necessity and not just douchery
Why. Ill be the rabbit if ull be the carrot.
I like how washing the beer bong is now a regular part of washing the dishes.
he even offered to make my bed in the morning.
No one knows who he is but he hasn't missed a shot in beer pong yet. He's dressed as lance armstrong and is tearing shit up.
I keep hearing lesbian porn and I'm the only one home. I don't think this is healthy
Shots. Renamed a guy (he looked like a Scott to me), running, bloody Marys, walk to Safeway, donuts, ride home from someones husband, Nurse Jackie. FIN.
So last night I kicked a beer can off of a frat guys head and it nailed one of my sisters in the face. Think i'll be brought up on standards?
DID YOU DO SOMETHING WITH THE DEAD ROACH IN THE KITCHEN? OR DID IT LAZARUS?
Also-when I die, I want it to be with my arms above my head so that when rigor mortis sets in, my breasts are perky.
Hows your mom
Shes good, she claims she wasnt drunk
Do you know anything about how the saran wrap ended up on my toilet seat?
Remind me to do laundry tomorrow so i have something decent to take off when i get laid.
Nate is still in lock up because when the cop informed me he'd shit his pants in the squad car I declined to post bail.
I can't imagine a friend I would rather lose my virginity to in a threesome.
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