I think i sorta joined a cult last night
i told him he had the best dick i've ever seen. then supposedly i kept repeating "peter piper picked the perfect penis"
I feel like we're taking advantage of the fact that our R.A has cerebal palsey.
Because it is about to snow, I sent him for Diet Coke and cigarettes. It's the gay version of milk and bread.
Fell in the ditch running from the pizza guy I stole the pizza from. If you are still at my house come find me, pretty sure I need stitches.
Everything tastes like Lysol. Am I dying?
Oh and I ate all of your Cinnamon Toast Crunch. Consider it part of your reparation payment for accidental anal insertion. I may continue to collect payments until I am no longer sore.
Did you shave a certain someone in his sleep last night?
I'm still depressed that I forgot my ice cream at your place
Everything is covered in gelatin and pam cooking spray. Jesus be a shield.
All I'm saying is this is the exact reason I should not be left unsupervised.
I think I just got suckerpunched by a 14-year-old.
He literally knows my vagina better then I do.
Accidentally drunk dialed my mom last night. Started the conversation with "Where you at girl?"
You've reached your one pic per night limit. To increase your limit, start conversations before 9 and submit your request for an additional pic before 10.
Randomize
