Yes. UR adorable in a weird way.
It feels like he gave my taint an indian burn.
we just decided that lesbian tuesdays are a must, as of tomorrow.
curled up in a ball on my bed listening to my "cuddle with a boy" playlist. prettty high.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Her boyfriend only talks to me because I know her period schedule
You just squeezed a person out of you and I'm drunks at 2PM. Our lives got traded and you know it and you're jealous.
So... Apparently, "Home" isn't the correct response when a cop asks for your address...
He got kicked out 3 times. I have no idea how he kept getting back in. I saw him walking on the highway the next morning.
Has my life seriously led me to day drinking on a Monday the third week of the semester?
It's after 5, it's not day drinking.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just had sex in the men's bathroom of a Chinese buffet...
YOU ARE MY HERO
There comes a point, as I lay on the floor of the work disabled toilets contemplating catching 10 minutes sleep between chunders, that I wonder if its really worth it
Are you good with a knife? I need someone to perform amateur surgery.
:(. i have vodka in a fire extinguisher. that solves all problems. except fires. it would actually make that worse.
This night could easily degenerate into a drunken haze of strippers and gambling, but I need a support network.
New life goal: Sex in a parking lot surrounded by a circle of fire.
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