Cool, see you soon... she just admitted to her friends that it was a queef.
So I'm banging this nun...
Isn't that how all good stories start? I like it already...
Two girls are now jumping in the ocean naked at 10 PM...and I was just starting to hate Ocean City
Legit screaming match in this bar over the differences between cupcakes and muffins.
sometimes i wish i was a boob, they get to chill in soft and cuddly little cup things.
I told my dad my stomach hurt and he bet me ten bucks I couldn't throw up on command. He has no idea what I did last night and I got ten bucks.
I DO NOT KNOW WHO SHE IS, WE HAVE NO MORE FRUIT, SHE CAN'T STAY HERE.
I'm basically flying you out for a long weekend of sex and going to the zoo
I'm cool with that
Whoops. I'm a horrible gf, I dropped the "I'm looking for jobs in a different city" bomb before I wished him a happy anniversary
I was packing a bowl naked and her dog just stared at me with pure rage
Hey, you know that marble art statue thing in your bedroom? Hypothetically what would happen if a penis got stuck in it?
We are back but we are listening to stairway to heaven in my car. Amy is air drums. Be back when it's over.
i told him the only way i'd fuck him was if he saved me during the zombie apocolypse and took me to a tastefully decorated yet impenetrable hideout.
her idea of a romantic time is a bottle of jager, some Guacamole and chips.
can't go wrong with guac.
If there's someone that knows accidental pantlessness, it's Mike.
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