On friday while at the hotel bar by myself (creepy) I made friends w/ a millionaire who said he may be running for the position of mayor in richmond va (likely a lie). At one point during our discourse he asked if I was crazy. In the effort of full disclosure I looked him in the eye and said yes
I don't know what prompted his inquiry, clearly this man had impeccable intuition
it seems that i get a boner from just about everything now
god I hate her. why can't she just fuck and leave like a normal slut.
so while trying to be a healthier drunk i discovered that putting airborne in natty is not an advisable decision
I thought we agreed I wasn't a screamer?
I thought short asians scared me, however seeing my first tall asian I'm terrified.
You coming out tonight? We gotta hang out before I move to Madison. BTW I'm moving to Madison.
How many ice cream sandwiches is an acceptable meal replacement?
2.5
It's now 3:30 and the guy I went home with is showering me with shredded cheese. Nbd.
So I walk in and he's teaching someone in London via Skype how to roll a blunt. I have new found respect for him.
Its a sick, sad, world when parents get more ass then you.
This girl braided my pubes while i was asleep. Now i cant get them undone.
Did we really just set fireworks off in a cemetery? Or was that a dream?
I think so and I think we were sober.
Ok well i was gonna say you can only borrow my fog machine if you will use it to emerge from your room in a cloud of smoke after having sex with sarah, so yeah we're good
i was too drunk before they even got here. i took all their phones instead of keys and hid them in the freezerr...im an awesome party host.
Randomize
