we were having sex in the shower and he dropped me. try explaining THAT to your concerned little brother
theres a dog humping me and im not going to stop it... i really need to get laid.
Let's bang like we're on a Lifetime Channel movie.
My girlfriend went down on me and as she did she hummed the theme from star wars and pretended my dick was a lightsaber...I'm buying the engagement ring tomorrow
It feels like he gave my taint an indian burn.
used foursquare to find where i am. please come get me. this is the scariest bedroom ever.
do you think I can still get an erection if I donate blood today? this is important.
is pulling out brownies in the middle of class on 4/20 just too obvious?
She sucked my dick while i watched james bond. And they say marriage sucks
I'm not holding out much hope. She met me in a nighclub when I was arguing with the cigarette machine
She makes me want to eat babies and throw kittens in pots of boiling water.
She wouldn't put out on the first date. I think my boner put a hole in my mattress.
Let's just say after this weekend I'm known as Shameous the Irish bar fighter.
Did I get stoned on a sunday afternoon and speak to someone on the phone for an hour about cats and their behaviour? Glad you asked. And yes.
Good dick will make you do a lot of things… Great dick will make you consider buying a house.
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