did you get engaged???
Is it sad that I'm on the stopduiaz.com website and there is a cute boy but it will never work between us because hes in jail for 17.5 years?
Um.. is it mean if I say yes?
How would my first penpal letter even go? "Hey saw you on stopduiaz.com, sucks you killed that motorcyclist. Whats your favorite thing to do on the weekend?"
i took my goldfish out of his bowl last night and put him in my bed
Weddings at vineyards should never be allowed to happen. I'm pretty sure I drank every bottle they produced in 2008.
Just so you know, a true one night stands ends with a 7 minute blow job after eating a sandwich she made for you while the taxi you called for her comes
I'm sorry to inform you but your friends with benefits card has expired has the beginning of the year. If you wish to renew your card you must submit a picture of a fully erect penis. Please note that not all request for a FWB card is accepted.
I'll be a little late, "getting ready for the party" turned into "smoking a bowl and doing lines in my room for an hour and a half." But I'm on my way now. With coke. And weed.
You were throwing up and said, "Whipe my face, I must look presentable at all times."
but I'll probably watch some porn later so it's not a complete waste of a Saturday night.
That shot was terrible
You were like one of those guys at carnivals that spit out fire..... Except it was throw up
Your favorite boobs are sending you seasons greetings
My heart wants him and my vagina wants him...to have a bigger dick.
I'll probably just end up banging you in your parents marital bed,in their honor of course.
I woke up in the middle of the night on all fours turning circles in my bed! No more patron for me!
My vagina is the only part of me that is pleased you lived through last night.
Randomize
