oh my god I didn't know your sister was this good at french kissing
So the last day on the vacation I woke up in the bath tub. My mom said she asked me during the night what I was doing and I said, "swimming."
There is a reason Crest White Strips don't list masturbation as one of the myriad of activities to do while whitening your teeth. A very good reason.
she said i was amazing, then i left to room to take the rubber off and came back to find her masturbating with my xbox controller while niko got a call from roman.
i just got offered coke by a strung out pilot. my night just got a lot more interesting.
Her thighs are so strong. I thought my head was gonna get crushed when I was eating her out
hey i found one of your nipple clamps under my couch, i miss you!
The druken crowd just broke into singing "God Bless America" while waiting the newlyweds to get in the limo. My friend is eating rose petals.
We were trying to sober you with hotdog buns but you refused put half of it in your bra and said you'd save it for later
After you verbally abused the McDonalds employee for not making your fries fast enough, the fact that you woke up on a random lawn does not surprise me.
Oh you know same old same old. just eating pizza after faking extreme night terrors to get a one night stand to leave my apartment
We couldve played the bring a random boy to lunch game but i made him go home
I found them. Thank God. Now I'm gonna have to take a Xanax for the panic attack I almost had trying to find my Xanax.
he was like captain planet, but less blue and more nakeed
We turned his nipples into a drinking game.
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