im surounded by vag. Like smog aound LA, i am suffocating in an atmosphere of pussy
Skipped a towel and decided to spit the cum into his face. I now owe him new contacts.
just ate frosted cheerios in coffee with some marshmellows. the college diet begins
They were like stripper heels, except business stripper heels, the kind strippers would wear to court.
Became best friends with the hotdog stand creeper outside the bar. Cried and told him my feet hurt too much to walk home then begged him to hire me.
its really sad that i have to specifically make this a rule but, absolutely no lighting smoke bombs indoors at my birthday party.
I made mike pull over so I could lay in the grass. He made me get up cuz I looked dead and people were passing. It was like 6:30am.
she texted me out of nowhere. and I wanted to get drunk. like I didn't even have her new number until 6 hours ago and bam we were rolling around drinking cotton candy vodka from the bottle she had stuffed in a boot
So are you still down for me to come stay with you and just have sex on vicodin all weekend?
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I'm going to go out on a limb and say last night was a success, also the neighbors are counting down the days until we move out.
Your ability to whip out your dick and take a pic anytime I text you is startling.
I literally woke up walked into the bathroom, threw up and died this morning. Then went to my 8am.
Just almost drowned myself in the shower again. I need an adult.
I had a dream involving the worlds smallest pony, an asphalt volcano, and jimi hendrix. Never smoking 3 bowls before bed again
I wish he’d realize all I want is dick. He’s my boytoy. He’s a stunt cock. \n\nCome over, fuck me silly, eat some leftovers, fuck me again, then go back to the frat house
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