Urine might work for jellyfish stings, but we found out it doesn't work well for nose bleeds...
Somewhere at this very moment, a group of drunk white girls are singing dont stop believing.
It was literally me in an evening gown and him in a tux with six bottles of Vodka at Jons.
And this was for your brother's Christening?
like stop trying to get a relationship out of this when i'm clearly in the drunken mistakes part of my life.
You need to always be prepared. Like a sex firefighter.
my pupils became my eyes and i slept with a cloth in my mouth again
Hey dude. I've got a mini fridge in my closet now so we don't have to worry about getting drunk and falling down the stairs on our way to get more beer.
I told her I was dressed as a gag reflex judge.....she won, literally hands down.
Got home. All the lights were on. All the doors were unlocked. My room was covered in beads, there's puke in the sink and of course our toilet is still broke. I'd say it was a decent Mardi Gras
Metaphysical thesis on the illusion of self+ 2 day adderal binge = the walls of reality are crumbling
First day back to class and I have already pulled out the hard liquor
She gave me a roadie as we drove home from fireworks. People were still lighting off their displays as we drove by. I love America.
I made out with my moms boyfriends son last night. Thanksgiving is gonna be reeeal fun!
I got a free corona t-shirt and all I had to do was drink a beer. This needs to be a more widely accepted form of currency.
Mandatory face masks - finally, a solution for lip augmentation failures and bad breath.
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