You took shots of captn out of a empty percocet bottle, i just saw you fall threw the floor of rock bottom.
My niece just called my sister in law a teabagger. I love NPR and it's corrupting influence on small children
it's my sixth sense. If there's an orgy within 20 miles of me i'll know about if. Or be a part of it.
at least i was responsible enough to take off my shoe and throw up in it
Is girls night deemed a success when you piss the bed?
How do I go about messaging a girl on a dating site whose little sister I've had a three some with...?
Last night you found an onion ring in your fries and then you started singing "A Moment like this"
I have an epic ass bruise from a wheel tonight and I am drunk now because I decided vodka heals all wounds.
But don't thank me for faking being asleep, if I was the real wing man, I would have left the bed
just passed my midterm while getting a blow job. i love going to school online
She just started crying. With my dick still inside her. Something about her grandpa.
I responded like every reasonable adult would. With a gif
Btw, apparently no one knows who ordered the pizzas for the after party, no one paid, and the delivery lady made a celeb shot, took a beer, then said she'd be back later to finish up the game...
She was cleaning herself at the bus stop. She also picked up gum off the ground and ate it
she compared me favorably to her vibrator
which one?
Randomize
