Far right against the wall..hiding come find me. dont tell oyhers hahaha
glow-in-the-dark stars on his ceiling from '98 totally make blowing him more romantic.
I just ran from Santa Claus in Kroger
let me put this in terms we both understand. he was the crunchwrap supreme of men--the perfect combo of all things manly, gooey and delicious. and ready for instant enjoyment.
i have a strong feeling i fucked one of the waiters here...
Just witnessed a circumcision at clinical. i suddenly feel a sense of reconciliation over every guy who's done me dirty...
If it carries over into the weekend I would be glad to nurse your vagina back to health.
For the record we tried to find 4th of july porn. Did not turn out well.
We woke up at 7:30am. We got a 30 rack, yelled at all the freshman shackers walkin back to their dorms, played a game of beer die, and boned all before 11:00am. I found my soulmate
I want to put in my resignation as an adult. From now on I will be spending my time drinking beer and skiing.
If you're going to be single forever, you should try the quesalupas at Taco Bell.
i found you laying on the floor staring at the ceiling and you kept muttering "why" in various inflections.
I volunteer to be the person who breaks into the room and runs around naked and has to be escorted out by police.
You yelled "Shame!" like you were that bitch from Game of Thrones and then hit my balls full force with your sports bra
"They won't do it. I'm in the middle of darkness. " and "Probably going to die. I've been walking for 50 minutes in one direction" are the last texts I got from Steve
Randomize
