Just sold this kid "Magic Furry Apples". He is way to high to figure out they are just peaches.
At least he's a nutritious stoner...
Can you deep fry cheerios do you know? crucial question
As long as you're not dating white guys again.
the world took limewire and four lokos away from me in one week....hello depression
I woke up covered in his pee. And then he poked me on Facebook.
Would you get mad if I held a "how many dick pics can you get in one night" competition with my friend?
Fun new game when high: sorting socks. Took forever. Was awesome.
Based on the time of Sean's "I'm on your street" phone call last night, we had sex for an hour and a half. Man, time flies when you're getting boned to an orgasmic death.
its the kind of night you break several limbs and say you were lucky
I was thinking that maybe I should not apply to Wells Fargo because they def have me on candid camera taking a drunken nap at 3am in their lobby.
My dad just told me I can't passout in the driveway after the 4th of July parade this year, again
He is so sweet! He thanks me for sending him dirty pix. I should keep him.
Currently on my Sunday walk of shame. Should I go to church?
you are the root of all my greats nights and my worsts decisions
He’s like an awkward walking penis that has a personality attached
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