I wish I could be a nicer person. Or a more sober one.
He lets me throw up in him even if i do it mistakeily- erica talking about the toilet
I JUST GOT MY PERIOD AND MY VISA FOR LONDON GOT APPROVED! BEST DAY EVER!
Your clothes are in washers 2,3 and 4. I arranged by darks, whites, then frat... I'm not even joking
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
broke the door off of my fridge tryin to have a indoor rodeo
It would only make sense that I'd cheat on him with his best friend on the ides of march...
Hi future me, I saved you a big mac under the bed.
I want you inside of me and on top of me and under me and behind me
Basically I need you to be like god, just fucking everywhere
If man night ends at some point, hit me up and let me prove my vagina still exists.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I know it must have been a hard break up. Are you okay?
Oh yeah, I'm fine dude. My vaginas heart is broken though. I feel bad for her, you should give her a call sometime.
Like real life can suck my metaphorical dick right now.
Look, I've got a really big car. We just need to put ourselves in it and put some body parts in other body parts.
I want you to remember that you started masturbating in front of a car full of people. That drunk.
I just got free tacos, you would be so proud of me.
Clarification, I got free tacos without performing any sexual favors.
I forgot that I'm high because of how high I am.
Randomize