I just spent $27 on things to pee on.
I looked at my own cervix.
he likes ron paul.... that's all i'm going to say....
I have seen more male genitalia at this party tonight than I ever want to see again in my entire life.
I don't care what he thinks. My vagina has an open door policy.
Apparently I was pointing at birds and yelling "YOU USED TO BE A DINOSAUR!!!"
Well. It was around 3 or 4 in the morning. He ran into the woods. Wearing moccasins. Holding an extension cord. He was trying to catch a deer. That about sums up the awesomeness of the night.
How dare you question the sanctity of Chocolate-and-Porn day
I need to quit being a slut. It's to the point that I got my period today and automatically I Believe I Can Fly popped into my head.
What was the point of renting a $600 trolley if no one even remembers going to the first bar?
I've been on the toilet for an hour. On a six day bender. My ass feels like its leaking vodka
I was picked up from his hotel room at 5 a.m. and came home with my panties and jäger in a McDonald's bag so the desk attendant wouldn't judge me. This is what single at 25 is about.
I don't know what's worse the fact that I woke up with a clit piercing or the fact that I didn't pay for it.
lmao he sent me a snapped but i'm afraid to open.
i think i have dick pic PTSD.
Comedy Central is in dire need of more sitable faces late at night - Trevor Noah has a baby face - there are federal rules against those types of sexual fantasies
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