Don't you ever say "drinking at 2" as if it's a bad thing again. I'm asking you as a friend here.
She left scratches down my back from her wedding ring. Her husband seems like a nice guy though, judging by the scratches it had to be at least a carat.
it was such a weird mix, KFC and penis
She started licking your face, then you turned to me and said "I guess thats my cue", and you proceeded to hook up with her.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You know you're old when tea and a hot bath are more appealing than beer pong with lesbians.
this is what happens when you pick a roommate a year in advance.. she ends up hating you for hooking up with for of her extended family members
I have a new favorite bar game. It's called, get dressed up and go drinking alone then make up random stories of why you are alone to look less like an alc
We need a shit load of segways right now
Another beautiful Sunday, another beautiful day the stick is not positive. Amen.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Im watching animal planet drunk, watching a documentary on mermaids. Tonight has not gone to waste.
You are allergic to dogs. DO NOT kidnap something you are allergic to. No matter how fluffy.
Dude, I just feel great. I love life so much and I love you. Love. Love. So much love.
Chick in the kitchen making breakfast.. Yours or mine?
At Target. Everyone is stocking up on food and flashlights for this storm. I stocked up on beer. Dont judge me, it was on sale...
Psssh like you wouldn't lick BBQ sauce off my nipples.
Randomize