she looks like luggage that fell from a plane
All the good ones are taken. All that's left is the Harry Potter geek or the asshole in the corner. I think I'll settle for Harry Potter.
I'm such a slut...i kept having sex with him after he called me his ex gf's name. I just felt like i deserved something out of it too.
Woke up un the hot tuv. Climbed out fo the hot tub and fell asleeo. Woke ip again in the hot tub.
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I just realized that he was my first random hookup that didnt cause a massive breakup or divorce. Im starting to grow up
and then he tried plucking my nose hairs. lines were crossed.
I don't have any swimsuits that don't show off the weird handprint bruises on my hips. Do you have a onepiece I can borrow?
We are not in the same countries and I heard about your hook up last night BEFORE you.
Also, I am ligit concerned that I might compulsively start collecting vibrators like Pokemon.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's my first ever "i'm sorry for my excessive drug use" hand turkey. And I think it's pretty boss.
They are taking turns pissing on the fire. This is my life.
it is my last wish that my tale be published posthumously as a warning to anyone thinking of eating burger king at nine am
Somewhere out there, on several phones belonging to strangers, exists a video of me rapping Baby Got Back on stage in four inch heels that I stole from the drag queen. Also I made out with the chick with the octopus tattoo.
You have the best birthdays
I just had a twenty minute discussion about endangered breed dog breeding with an Extremely drunk guy
So many questions...
My books smell like weed. What does that tell you about my college experience?
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